Things that make me smile a little less than last week:
- Personal admin. It sucks. I procrastinate. It gets worse. I procrastinate more. I eat bags and bags of fizzy cola bottles and my tongue bleeds so I have to have a lay down, and then find very interesting things to watch on telly (I used to be fat, World’s strictest parents, Bargain Hunt), and I invent household chores that just must be done instead. Which shows you just how much I hate admin, because I hate chores, muchly!
- Parking fines, specifically from parking at the gym. As if it wasn’t hard enough to motivate myself already – now if I spend too long in there I get fined £80. Encouraging no?
- Being unable to find the shoes I want to complete my last wedding outfit. I’ve bought five pairs so far this week and returned four…
- One pair of Vivienne Westwood Lady Dragons in pink PVC with peach heart detail on the toe. I just didn’t love them as much as my trusty blue and red ones so they went back. Not before I offered them to our general manager for a sniff. They smell of bubblegum, OBVS!
- A pair of lovely corally-pink almond toe platforms. They had such potential. Turned out to be stripper shoes. Bleurgh.
- Red suede almond toe courts. Red shoes no knickers. That is all.
- Pink suede courts. Identical to my existing Louboutins. Unjustifiable.
- So, come oooooon, SamCam’s nude, suede t-bar sandals from the Royal Wedding. I’m counting on you!
- Nicky Gee working all over the long weekend. Poo bums.
- Geordie Shore*. I know I'm going to get as addicted to this as I am to TOWIE and MIC, but the problem with this one is that I've only just weaned myself off the Cheryl Cole intonation and turn of phrase after the last series of X Factor ended in December. Now, my "head voice" has a Geordie accent.** I can't stop saying my name as "Vic-ee" with Chezza's accent. Damn them!
- Having an office-based job. Hate having to sit inside during sunny afternoons whilst my stalkbook friends post pictures of paddling pools and sun-drenched gardens. (However in the winter I will be mucho grateful for my office-based job so I retain the right to alter this one)
- Generally just not being a millionaire. Being a millionaire would solve all of the above. Almost.
However… in the event of not being a millionaire and needing a means to solve my utter distress at all of the above, I stuffed my face with pomegranate Yoo Moo in all it’s 99% fat-free glory. Smothered in chocolate buttons, mini marshmallows, fudge pieces, brownie bites and gummi bears (yes, proper ones). It’s amazing that something so yummy is just so good for you….
But at the end of the day, it could be worse. Everything I touch could turn in to Skittles.
Night night YooMooersx
* my thoughts on this coming soon... but to start with "spoonin' turns in ter forkin' dunnit?" Amazeballs!
** Everyone has a "head voice" right?