Monday, 16 May 2011

Five reasons why MIC needs to bow-ie to TOWIE…

1.   The names
Binky. Caggie. Hugo. Really?
2.   The hair
The big, overly coiffed hair in TOWIE is chav-tasticly over the top, granted. The big, overly coiffed hair in MIC is ON DUDES… come on!
3.   Fred
I just got back from Damascus for this date with Millie… I’ve got a sick entrance planned”. WHO IS THIS GUY? He needs new shoes, new lines and a haircut.
4.   Stupidity
Stupidity from Essex dipsticks is acceptable. They’re reverting to type and they’re playing tongue in cheek characters. I’ll let it go because they’re lovable dopes (except Mark – he’s a complete pr!ck!) and they stay away from business and politics and occupy themselves with glamour modelling and club promoting. Stupidity and complete ignorance from privately educated posh twats in Chelsea isn’t. These people end up in charge of the country/big banks/hedge funds or marrying royalty. If they can’t even get their childhood authors correct (“Charles Dickens wrote Winnie the Pooh. No, Pride and Prejudice. Dickens wrote Victorian books like Pride and Prejudice…”) then I’m not sure they should be trusted with complicated machinery like eyelash curlers.
5.   Blindness
…or denial? How is it that Gabby doesn’t know that her boyfriend is gay? I quote:
·         Can you tan through fake tan?”
·         (about a guy) “Look there’s a hottie over there...”
·         Have you got my eyelash curlers?”
And the final reason I don’t like it….
"I think fake tan is the most offensive thing in the world"
Uh, actually, I would say that position was occupied by your face. Totes.
We Essex-ites might be orange, a bit chav-tastic and say stupid things, but at least we don’t take ourselves too seriously.
Essex rules… innit.
P.S. Totes still going to watch though… am like totes hooked, though yah.

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