Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Resting Bitch Face

I have a friend who used to tell me off all the time for my Resting Bitch Face* She said that I always looked aloof and people were scared to talk to us when we went out. I thought it was more along the lines that they were embarrassed to be seen with us due to our cliché fancy dress and bonkers dance routines we insisted on doing, en masse, on the dancefloor (it likely was the latter!).

I had a boss, back in the day, that said I gave off a constant air of "don't approach me, don't talk to me and certainly don't touch me" when we were out drinking. Not in a bad way, just in the way that when everyone at work was hitting on or hooking up with anything that moved, everyone steered well clear of me. I thought it was because everyone else was way way hotter than me (they actually were/are!).

From the age of about 3 until... well, probably even now, my mum told/tells me, repeatedly, that my standard response to all questions, comments and critique was/is a lip-curl of a sneer. I disagree, I think I'm screwing my face up while ruminating my response to make sure I say the right thing (but, fair enough, in my teenage years, I probably snarled some kind of sarky retort, once cogitated).

One of Mr G's friends also told me that his (now ex) girlfriend thought I was highly unapproachable, because I was always giving her "evils". I thought she was staying away from me because she was just too cool for me (she was!).

I took umbrage at all these suggestions.
I smile at strangers in the street as we walk past each other as I worry that they may think I'm unfriendly. I yell "good morning" to people as I walk to the bus stop each morning, even if they always ignore me, and I worry ALL.THE.TIME. that people might not like me. For some stupid reason my life's mission is to make everyone like me.

Anyway, on a hen weekend recently one of the other hens took a lot of reportage style photography and it was only in looking through her expert pics that I noticed the extent of my Resting Bitch Face. I'd never seen it before.

It's bad.

Check it.

Papped by Manita Khanna

So, I'm sorry. I get it!

But, check this Buzzfeed blog post out, it explains my plight.
Help me!

* at the time we didn't know that's what it was called. She just told me to stop looking like such a sullen bitch!

Monday, 14 April 2014

Obsessed: Lupita's frock

Ok, I know I said that the next thing I wanted copied by the high street was Alice + Olivia's lip print dress, but I've changed my mind.

To this.


It's Chanel (obvs).

It's "Look 38" from their Fall/Winter 2014/15 collection.

It's like Hobbycraft threw up on her. Or she just taught finger painting and cutting and sticking to nursery school kids.

I love it. I want it copied by the high street. IMMEDIATELY! I'm looking at you ASOS...

This frock, as seen on My Girl Crush Of The Moment Lupita Nyong’o at the MTV Movie Awards is probably the best dress I've ever laid eyes on in my 32 years of living.

I wannit!

Thursday, 3 April 2014

The Magic Chair: predicting the future (Eat, sleep, rave, repeat)

My parents are going through a bit of a house rejuvenation and renovation project. Must be all the spring air.

My Baby Bro and I have been summoned to collect artefacts from our old rooms or to authorise the binning of boxes of all of our treasured childhood memories toot as they gut them and re-decorate. We seem to be in a constant state of negotiation, and application, for Childhood Memory Storage Plans.

It was against this backdrop of change that my mum sent me a scan of my much-dicussed, but never seen, childhood story, The Magic Chair.

I wrote it when I was about seven and my dad had it typed up for me to illustrate and then had it bound as a keepsake. It was at that point that I got shy about it, and hid it.

For all eternity.

Or until 2014 when they started ripping out bookshelves.

Have a quick read.

See if there's anything that grabs you from my infant imagination, or stands out in my prowess in illustration and storytelling:

Well, to start with, I'm no Quentin Blake or A.A. Milne, am I? NO!! Not. At. All.

I tell you what I can do though?

I can tell the bl**dy future!!!

I, sorry, a little girl called "Emma" sat on a chair, a lot. No walking or running for me/Emma. I'm a sitter through and through. The more I can sit, the happier I am. My magic chair carries me all over the world, even underground, to where I need to be.

Oh, and look, in between all the sitting down and whizzing around, I seem to be very focussed on planning. Making plans that involve a heavy emphasis on food and travel and a lot of hanging out, drinking and eating with new, colourful friends all over the world.

"... ate, slept, went on a trip, ate some food whilst I was there, came back and went to sleep, got up, went on some more trips, ate some more food, then went to sleep..."

So basically: Eat. Sleep. Rave. Repeat.

Oh, and you know, just hanging out, maxing, relaxing all cool with my main man God*.

No biggie.

Apparently I was pretty amazing at rocking a possesive apostrophe in plural as well...

Magical indeed.

* I reckon I probably wrote this around the time of my first Holy Communion or Confession. You know, when you're discovering that God is omnipotent and important (and not impotent)...

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Feelin' Good: Recapping Jan - Mar

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me... and I'm Feelin' Good.

That's one of my fave songs of all time, and that's how I'm feeling today.

Nothing, of course, related to the fact that we've FINALLY booked a 2014 holiday.

I'm Makin'Whoopee (kinda), and excited for Summertime. Yup, I've gone all Jazz and Blues in homage to the fact that we're gonna be coasting around the deep, deep south in the heat of summer - I'm *squeeeeeeee*ing with excitement at all the music and cocktails in New Orleans.


So, it's the first day of April and I'm feeling HAPPY. You would be forgiven for thinking that that's an April Fool, but I'm very superstitious, and it's after midday, so no, I actually am happy, after months of walking around like the grumpus!
It's the start of a new quarter, I have some solid travel plans in the diary, we can finally feel springtime in the air and I'm feeling like a breath of fresh air has finally wafted through my life.

So, onwards.

But first, a quick three-month re-cap...
It was my birthday, I kept it low key and took myself off for a ski trip with work. I had SO. MUCH. FUN. But only when I wasn't wearing ski boots. Ski boots are the devil. I hate ski boots and ski boots hate me.

I had some low key birthday celebrations with various groups, drinks on the sofa, dinners out, afternoon teas in (Chez Wal-cey), and an amazing Sunday brunch at Hakkasan with the Mister.

We celebrated some other big birthdays as well, including a 60th for Mummy Anne and a 21st for Baby Griff and christened the dining table Chez Katy with a boozy Sunday brunch.

February is where I always plan to reduce my alcohol intake after the excesses of Christmas, New Year and the Big Month of Birthdays (there are about 10 in January and early Feb), but this year that just didn't happen. We started it off with a glorious hen house party for the lovely Laura, full of food, fizz, cocktail making, arts, crafts, country walks and old-school film faves (in our own private cinema room, no less) showed Gemma the sights of our home town city with a bar crawl through Chelmsford, Katy, Claire and I thoroughly disgraced ourselves at Proud Cabaret, dancing with (pilfered) feather boas on our heads until 3 in the morning. We tried to reign it in for the rest of the month, to no avail, with Katy and I wreaking havoc in our onesies in the conservatory on Valentine's Day and then Gemma and I caused our Beaux much embarrassment with our havoc-wreaking  slick moves on the dance floor at the Gilbert nuptials

Let's just have a pause for that wonderful, glorious day...


And we're back in the game.

February ended with another trip to The Drowned Man (read about it on Florence Finds here) I'm still thinking about it...

March began with a fringe, a Tea Shop Luvvie brunch  (which of course lasted until tea time), birthday love potion cocktails for Nicky and a shopping trip for Indian wedding outfits. Which turns out to be dangerous... so much embellishment means multiple face and arm lacerations when being pulled in and out of multiple outfits. I found an outfit though, so it was a successful day.

March continued in much the same way as January and February: BOOZY. A night of Indian food and cocktails with Kim followed by an all-you-can-drink brunch and a bottle of Veuve at Sushi Samba with the god family, a trip to the Quaglino's Meringue and Bellini Bar, a visit to my grandparents in Yorkshire (including a stay in my parents' and grandparents' wedding night hotel) were all filled with fizz and fun.

Next up was a weekend in Paris (ahhh, Paris, my love) for Bhavisha's hen celebrations – food, fizz, hot chocolate, LBDs and colour pop shoes... I came home a stone heavier and with some new friends.

I rounded off the month, and Q1 2014 with Caroline's  birthday dinner a trip to the James Bond inMotion exhibition at the London Film Museum, a burger-fest Chez Gilbert, a big family-and-friend gathering for Mothering Sunday at a friend's lovely country pub and some much needed pampering time. 

So, April, and the rest of 2014... I'm ready for you.