Monday, 23 January 2012

When can I be you?

me being the chick off the vodka menu at Revolution... or a lady bird. Either or.
I don’t really wish that I was anyone else but me, living any other life than my own, but every now and again, usually in the middle of my morning commute, I have a flicker of a fantasy and dream that I might be someone else*, some recent faves would be:
  1. The Duchess of Cambridge – well, obvs. Who wouldn’t want to have walked down that aisle in that dress on that day? And I bet even she sits there sometimes dreaming of wearing that crown
  2.  P.Middy – see above.
  3. Nigella/Kirstie (interchangeable in my head) – because they make being a domestic goddess look so fabulous and fun. In reality it is neither!
  4. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley – uh, you’ve seen her, right? 
  5. Holly Willobooby – because I would love to just sit and chat on a sofa all day, with Phil, in pretty dresses, and get paid for it. Oh, and also because I would like to be besties with Fearne!
Ask me on a different day and I’m likely to give you another name, based on the book I’m reading, the magazine I’m flicking through or what I’m watching on telly.  Sometimes fantasy world is way more fun than the real world. Only sometimes though!
To counter the above I would also like to tell you about people I am glad that I’m not…
Well, firstly, the above
  1. Can you imagine the pressure? Jeez. I bet she just wants to put on a hoodie put her hair in a messy pony and pop round to her mate’s for a cuppa. Unlucky. Also, one word – Diana!
  2. The most famous “second prize” in the world.
  3. What if they just want to eat a pot noodle? Or buy a wardrobe from Ikea?
  4. Imagine trying to change careers from “gorgeous bit” to “talented actress” or “UN  Ambassador” or “political candidate”…
  5. Hmmmm – I can see no negatives here. oh... I didn't plan that one very well did I?
And a few others:    
  1. Angelina Jolie – she looks so flipping stressed out. Chill out. Eat biscuits. Get a baby sitter. Crack a god damn smile
  2. Victoria Beckham – give her a break
  3. Lady Gaga – how would I admire her if I was her (this also goes for Madonna)
  4. Gwyneth Paltrow – the most boring woman in the world? What I would do with her life if I could get my hands on it...
  5. Kate Moss – she must be flipping knackered! I bet she’s gagging for a lie down and a detox
  6. Lindsay Lohan – one word: whoops
  7. Britney Spears – I mean, no one likes getting up and going to work, but at least when I’m having a “I hate my job” day I don’t have millions of people looking at me expecting me to be something I was ten years ago
  8. Cheryl Cole – someone give that girl a hug
  9. Winona Ryder – loo. laa.
  10. Jennifer Aniston – Great body, great hair, great comic timing – great big fat ex splashed all over the papers every day with his new bird and their 25 kids. Mmmmmmmotivational!
So there you go kids. Be true to yourself, the grass isn’t always greener, be who you are and be happy in your own skin… or some other kind of motivational message. Being rich/gorgeous/famous/the future Queen isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…

* Please note that this is different to girl crushes! You can’t have a girl crush on yourself now, can you?

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