Millions

Seeing as the last two days have seen the big cosmic fruit machine in the sky cash out for me three times (don't get too excited!), I couldn’t help but do my usual and start thinking about what I’d actually do if I won the Lottery. You know when you start thinking about it and you almost convince yourself that it’s ACTUALLY going to happen and so you start stressing about the consequences of your newly-minted actions.

Even though you don’t have a ticket?

Well, yeah, I did that. It meant that I laid in bed wide awake for a long while last night deciding what I’d name the tea shop I’d buy (still undecided, more sleepless nights ahead), whether it was too patronising to treat all my friends and family to a massive group holiday (I think they’d be ok with it!) and whether I’d bother to work my notice or not (keeping that one to myself!).

So what would my first five purchases be?

1.       A family home with a dining table to seat 20 – then I’d commission a massive lazy-Susan so that Diana couldn’t hog all the roast potatoes at the other end.

2.       A white convertible BMW 1 series with pale gold leather interior - I’m an Essex girl, what can I say? Although once I’d come to terms with my squillions then I’d buy a fleet of Aston Martins, a few Land Rovers in an array of colours to match my mani-pedis, a VW camper van an old E Type Jag and a cream vintage Beetle!

3.       A white leather Chanel 2.55 flap bag with platinum chain detail – to go on the passenger seat of my new Essex girl car. Obvs.

4.       A pretty little tea shop – I’d fill it with wait staff in 50s-style uniforms, retro, imaginative cupcakes, genuine vintage china and atmospheric tunes. I’d park my pretty little car outside, put my pretty little handbag over my shoulder and waltz in for a pretty little cupcake and chats with my pretty little besties.

5.       An Ibizan villa.

And then I’d totally buy world peace by paying Jason Bourne to go out, round up all the nasty war-mongering bastards out there, tie them up and put them in a well until they can learn to be friends. I’d also pay him to put Mark Wright and Spencer from MIC in there too.

In fact, that's complete fantasy. We all know there's no way I could make big decisions like that without at least two months of email discussions with my (long-suffering) besties and colleagues, deliberating all possible decisions and options. So in the meantime the first five things I'd buy would be Grazia magazine, that skirt I put back in Ted Baker as I couldn't afford it (in the sale), Essie nail varnish (they last like, years), a new digital camera (I've just broken mine) and another pair of those comfy Next wedges (I couldn't afford the pink and the green last month)...

Sweet millionaire dreams