Monday, 18 July 2011

Outfit arithmetic

Am I the only person who constructs spreadsheets of outfits? I have so many events come up and with the advent of Facebook, I can’t possibly be seen in the same outfit twice, well maybe twice, but defo not three times. So with all the events, weddings, parties, lunch dates and trips I have planned I had to do some serious outfit spreadsheeting… no last minute outfit decisions for me. 

A-list-worthy bargain!
Obviously, this required a few purchases, you know, just to fill in the gaps... So Olivia Palermo (a new addition to the Girl Crush list) rocking this Topshop dress helped me out.  A-list style for under £50 – praise be to Topshop... shame the rest of the outfit (clutch, shoes, necklaces etc take the outfit total cost to a little over £1000. I'll just stick to the dress. Maybe pop to New Look for some necklaces... hmmm)
A slightly less successful part of the planning included a wee trip to Warehouse one lunch time where I spied some lovely frocks. I purchased said frocks – a green dress (GD), a blue dress (BD) and a patterned dress(PD).
Round 1 Dress tally = 1 x GD, 1 x BD and 1 x PD
I then return to my desk and find an email from Warehouse with £20 off the same dresses. So I purchased them again.
Round 2 Dress tally: 2 x GD, 2 x BD and 2 x PD
And then I start to wonder if I’ve bought the right size in the GD, so I order it in the next size down
Round 3 Dress tally: 3 x GD, 2 x BD and 2 x PD
And then I thought that one of my friends might like PD, and it’s her birthday coming up, so I got her one too…
Round 4 Dress tally 3 x GD, 2 x BD and 3 x PD
All is well with my dress maths – as soon as the discounted dresses arrive, I’ll take the full price ones back to the store.
And then I get an email from Debenhams about their Blue Cross sale. A quick calculation suggests that 25% off the dress price is actually more of a discount than the £20, so I purchase them again. But to make sure that I get the right size I purchase two of the GD again, just in case they sell out of the one I need.
Round 5 Dress tally: 5 x GD, 3 x BD and 4 x PD
Excellent. I feel pleased with myself as not only do I now have the perfect outfit solutions, I got myself a bargain. Nothing pleases me more than a bargain. So I settle myself and wait for my free deliveries to arrive.
L - R: Green Dress, Blue Dress, Patterned Dress and Stripy Dress... Obvs.
And they arrive on Mr G’s day off. He shook his head like usual when I came home with my new dresses, that solved my “absolutely nothing to wear” issues (if you’ve ever seen my wardrobe, you’ll understand why he tuts and shakes his head). So anyway, there is a knock at the door and the Round 2 dresses arrive, but he’s not sure what’s going on – he’s pretty sure that these dresses at the front door are the exact same dresses as the ones hanging on my wardrobe door from the Round 1 purchasing.
The same day the Round 3 delivery arrives, just to confuse things, it’s exactly the same (GD) as one of the dresses in the Round 2 delivery and the Round 1 purchases.
The next day, the Round 4 delivery arrives. And once again it’s the same dress as before (PD). He’s starting to wonder if it’s Groundhog Day?
Later that afternoon the Round 5 delivery arrives and he really starts to think he’s lost the plot, and he calls me.
Mr G: have you been hacked?
Me: no. why?
Mr G: ok, so are you setting up an online dress re-sale business?
Me: no. Why?
Mr G: because we now have 12 dresses, hanging on your wardrobe, five of one style (GD), three of another (BD) and four of another (PD). What’s going on?
Me: I’m not sure what size I needed, so I got both sizes.
Mr G: I’m sorry… how many sizes do you actually need to try on Victoria?
Me: weeeeeelllllllll.......
I don’t need to tell you that trying to return all these dresses wasn’t quite as easy.
Store salesperson: I’m sorry, but I don’t understand it. It’s clearly the same dress as the delivery note says it is, and the serial numbers match up, but for some reason, it’s just not registering. I don’t understand it.
Me (with feigned ignorance): me either. I just don’t know what’s wrong. Sigh….
Don’t worry, it all got sorted in the end... and all completely above board! Problem is, now all of those dresses are a fraction of the price in the sale. I should have just waited.
Did I learn my lesson? Uh… shall I tell you the story about stripy dress (SD) another time perhaps…
[(5 x GD) + (3 x BD) + (4 x PD)] – [(4 x GD) + (2 x BD) + (2 x PD)] * (1 x pair Louboutins) + (3 x assorted fascinators) = 3 x event outfits
And I’ll share them all on here shortly… unless I find something else in the meantime that is….

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